Mind Vomit

Amrit and I are planning a small trip to Harrison Hot Springs.

If I don’t get to travel outside of BC this summer, I want to make sure I enjoy my beautiful province at least.



Joan Crawford in Possessed (1931)

82 years later and it’s still relevant

Girls are raised in a society where flattering clothing means clothing that makes you look skinnier. Where fat is an insult more often than a noun and not just a physical description but a reflection of personality. Where “you look healthy” is what you say when a girl gains weight, but “you look good” is what you say when a girl loses weight. Girls are raised in a society that teaches them it is their own responsibility to be as small as possible because they do not deserve to take up space.
Anonymous  (via chubby-bunnies)



i hope that someone, somewhere, sees this and is actually affected by it enough to make a change. this is terrible.


If you are or someone you know is in a situation where there is physical or emotional abuse here is a list of numbers and directories so you can get some help/advice for the situation. In an emergency call 911 or your country’s emergency service number if you need immediate assistance or have already been hurt.

In the US: Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE(7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224

Canada: call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-363-9010

UK: call Women’s Aid at 0808 2000 247

Australia: Call 1800RESPECT at 1800 737 732. The website also allows you to chat with a qualified and experienced counsellor

New Zealand: Women’s Refuge - 0800733843

Are You Ok - 0800 456 450 (the website is full of information and support services contacts for families experiencing violence).

Worldwide: Visit International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies for a global lists of helplines, shelters, and crisis centres.


Now You Know (Source)

throughthefearandfire submitted:
Hey, I’m a big fan of your blog and writing, especially on the racism and internalised homophobia in gay communities, the fallacies of marriage equality etc. Ditto on RuPaul and Drag Race, in a huge way. But I think I have to very respectfully disagree with you on the “You’ve Got She-Mail” debate.

I am uncomfortable with the idea of cis-men reclaiming slurs directed at transpeople and transwomen (just as I am with racial slurs being reclaimed by people not from those races) because there is no direct inversion of power relations (between the oppressor and the oppressed). As a cis-man myself, I don’t know what it is like to have such slurs directed at me and what I would feel, and as a result, I feel like I don’t have a basis for making a reclamation.

And sure there are lots of transwomen saying it’s not offensive, but there are also a significant number saying it is, and who report the use of these transphobic slurs alongside instances of violence. In such a case, isn’t it better to err on the side of people who are experiencing real pain and suffering? Why should my enjoyment and entertainment (and I do think “You’ve Got She-Mail” is quite witty) be contingent on causing pain or discomfort to others, even if it is a minority?

I think RuPaul is a great ally and not transphobic (and I don’t agree at all with the people directing vitriol towards him), but sometimes your actions can have negative effects even if you don’t intend to, and you can inadvertently create discrimination and oppression. In such cases, it’s better to reassess, as RuPaul (or at least Logo) has done (however messily). Pushing for allies to be more aware and respectful is not “tearing the community down” in any way, and I think it’s perfectly fine to direct activism at both allies and oppressors. Finally, some of the language of being grateful to allies and on what one should or should not find offensive is disturbing precisely because the lived experiences of discrimination and oppression are so intensely personal, and shouldn’t be dictated by others why maybe haven’t experienced the same things.

Drag language, and LGBT communities, are so rich and diverse, and I’m sure we can find other terms that are just as amusing but maybe not as harmful.

Anyway, just my two cents! And thank you for the blog and the opportunity to engage =)

Thanks for your message.

With respect to you, I reject this line of reasoning completely. I reject the frenzied attacks that have been visited upon RuPaul and his/her use of the reclaimed slur “she-male” completely. And for the dozenth time, I’d like to say just how offended and insulted I am personally and in general at the way some queer people choose to behave towards other queer people who are not even inadvertently (let alone deliberately) causing offence.

I don’t even think these particular people deserve their positions to have as much attention as they get, and I am absolutely disgusted that LogoTV has supplicated itself to their ignorant, ideologically illogical positions and the way they bully people into altering behaviour that should not be altered, just to satisfy their own perverse misunderstandings and proclivities towards catastrophisations and over-reactions at the mere mention of words and noises that shouldn’t trigger them but do because they don’t spend the requisite time examining their political positions and the theories that inform these positions. A lot of these complainers and whiners and screamers and shouters hear a few statements, a few positions, a few words and sounds that prop-up their sense of oppression and struggle, then jump on these bandwagons in support of things they don’t rationally understand. In other, simpler words, they join a mob, complete with electronic pitchforks, torches, and shovels.

Let’s turn the tables around a little: do you honestly think that RuPaul, living the life he/she has lived/is living, could never be the target of a slur such as “she male”? I mean, here we have a queer black man doing drag. Do you not think the ignorant amongst humanity would jump at the chance to slander him in such a manner? Heck, I’ve only done drag once in my life, and for the most part on the outside dress in the masculine, and even I’ve been called a she-male by an ignorant heterosexual homophobe who wanted to ridicule me. The most butch, cis-homo males amongst us can fall foul of this particular slur, no matter how hard they try to inhabit a masculine space, because the ignorant in our society use all manner of slurs along the same lines to insult us: fag, queer, sissy, girlie boy, lady-boy, she-male, tranny, etc.

Breaking down the insults into arbitrary groups of homophobia, transphobia, effeminophobia, and femmephobia may be practical when analysing the specific reasons and origins of these slurs, but then to use these broken down categories and lay claim to them, saying “this is a transphobic slur, therefore only trans people can reclaim it” is ridiculous, especially when those who use the slur negatively can use it not just against trans people but against anyone whom they believe breaches the code of compulsory heterosexuality.

Simply put: she-male is an insult, a slur, that can be / is used against non-heterosexual males and against trans people. It is not the personal possession or belonging of trans people. It can, therefore, be reclaimed by anyone it has been used against, and in reclaiming it, the power of the oppressor is taken away. Drag Queens are slurred by ignorant people as she-males. RuPaul is a Drag Queen. This is logically basic. RuPaul has turned it from an insulting slur into a light-hearted pun, and in doing this he/she has stripped it of its vicious intent. Simple. Thank heaven for RuPaul, and shame on those who attack him/her for it. (via endracismandhomophobia)

Yes I think I found the Belly Dancing Class I’m going to sign up for :D